Nagi's Magic Pocky
by Verie
Summary: Includes some references to 'A Morning Started Off Right' & written for Lovecraft, because she threatened me. ~nodnod~ I attempted to make it Nagi-centric... and failed miserably. ~face fault~ Anyhow, Nagi's pocky gets stolen. ;_;' I'll have to rewrite th


  
  
  
  
  
  


*****************   


  


Author Note: 

I'm writing this solely because Lovecraft will do evil things to my poor Braddie if I don't. 

But seriously. It's all just horribly cruel. CRUEL, I TELL YOU!! ~sobs pathetically~ 

And if something has a number by it, that means that at the bottom there's a little explanation.   
  
  


*******************   
  


Brad walked into the kitchen (and we all know nothing good can stem from this). 

"Crawford." Nagi stated, in that irritated "I'm mad at you but I'm going to be calm about this and ask you a couple questions and if you don't give me answers there'll be hell to pay" tone of voice that he picked up from Crawford awhile ago. 

"What?" Brad asked, somewhat irritated that Nagi had stolen his tone of voice. He mentally cursed himself for not getting it copyrighted. 

"Where's the pocky?" Nagi glared. 

".. We had pocky?" Brad blinked. 

"Yes. We've always had pocky. MY pocky. And that pocky is gone. So unless you want me to do something evil to your toaster-" 

"Leave the toaster out of this!! It's been through enough in it's lifetime." Brad said. 

"Then WHERE'S THE POCKY?!" Nagi demanded, as a lamp exploded. 

"I have no idea." Brad stated. 

"... Really?" Nagi whimpered. 

"Yes, really. I have more important things to do than mess with your pocky. Ask Schuldich. He's prone to doing things like that." Brad stated. 

"I'm not going to go around demanding things of people like you did with the toaster. Because that was really weird." Nagi said. Brad twitched slightly. 

"Leave me alone. It was an emergency." He grumbled, walking off. 

Then, Nagi got a brilliant idea! 

"CRAWFORD!" He exclaimed suddenly. 

"What?" Brad asked, pausing in his retreat. 

"Since Weiss had your toaster, they probably have my pocky!" Nagi exclaimed triumphantly. 

"... Your powers of deduction amaze me." Brad stated blandly. 

"Shut up. We're going to the flower shop. Because I SAY SO. And if you don't listen, I'll blow up the toaster. ... And the coffee maker." Nagi said. 

"... ... You've been around Schuldich way too long." Brad grumbled, grabbing his coat. Nagi ran off to get Schuldich and Farfarello.   


_At the Flower Shop..._

"If you're not going to buy anything, get out." 

"I have no intention of wasting my money here." Brad stated. Aya's head shot up. 

"AYA!" He exclaimed. He suddenly cursed himself for not thinking of something more original/threatening. ... "Shi-ne!" at the very least. But he had said the first thing that popped into his mind. And that happened to be "Aya." ... Unfortunately. 

However, it effectively served the purpose of confusing his enemies. Now was the time to STRIKE! 

So, he lunged at the nearest enemy, who happened to be Brad. 

... However, he forgot there was a rack of flowers in his way, so he lunged into a largh bouquet of roses. And got his sleeve stuck. 

This bought Schwarz enough time to unconfuse themselves. 

Except Schuldich had started laughing his ass off, but hey, the rest of Schwarz was perfectly capable of combat. 

Meanwhile, the rest of Weiss suddenly noticed that enemies had infiltrated their workplace. 

Now was the time for clever reactions that involved really spiffy kung fu action movie moves and such things as that! 

... But what they managed was Ken tripped on a flower pot, Omi just barely managed to cover up his happy squeal that Nagi was there, and Yohji was too busy flirting with some over-18-fangirls to notice. 

A couple seconds later Omi was overrun by fangirls, thus making all of Weiss too busy to properly react to Schwarz's presence. 

"... Why am I always ignored? This is my one chance to be all cool and do something evil and threatening and everyone's ignoring me!!" Nagi exclaimed, as a random flower pot blew up. 

"Face it kid, you're cursed. You'll never get to be in the spotlight, because someone will always take it away from you." Schuldich shook his head. 

"... Crawford, I blame you." Nagi stated. 

"How the hell is it my fault?!" Brad demanded. 

"You're always stealing my spotlight! YOU NARRATED MY FLASHBACK!!(1)" Nagi exclaimed. 

"... What the HELL are you talking about?" Brad asked. Nagi twitched. 

"I'm not letting anyone take this chance away from me!! I'm going to do something, damnit!(2)" Nagi exclaimed dramatically. 

".... Brad, you're influencing him too much. .. He's being all dramatic. It's like... Mini-Brad." Schuldich blinked. 

"Mini-Brad." Brad said sceptically. 

"Yes, Mini-Brad." Schuldich replied. 

"YOU'RE BOTH DOING IT AGAIN!!!" Nagi exclaimed angrily. 

"Doing what? Brad, what're we doing?" Schuldich asked. 

"Sitting here. In a flowershop. Waiting for Weiss to stop being preoccupied with other things." Brad stated. 

"Ah, ok." Schuldich nodded. Nagi twitched angrily. 

"You're both taking the focus away from me! AGAIN!!!" He exclaimed. 

"We are?" Schuldich asked. 

"YES. You ARE." Nagi glared. 

Then, Aya magically got himself untangled from the rosebush. "SHI-NE!" He exclaimed, proud that he'd managed to say an actual insult this time. 

Schwarz blinked. 

"... That's really old." Schuldich stated. 

"... Shut up. What do you want, Schwarz?!" Aya demanded. 

"We want our pocky back!" Nagi exclaimed. 

"YOUR pocky... I wasn't even aware we HAD pocky." Brad corrected. 

".. You're trying to steal my spotlight again, aren't you?" Nagi glared. Brad sweatdropped and shut up. 

Yohji suddenly noticed Schwarz was there. "You'll never get your pocky back! NEEEVEEEER!! Because girls LIKE guys with pocky!" He exclaimed maniacally. 

Nagi glared. 

"Ano.. actually, we took the pocky because we've decided that you all get your evil psychic powers from pocky, so we thought if we took the pocky, we'd all be even." Omi explained from the midst of a crowd of fangirls. 

"... Wait... how can someone get psychic powers from pocky? Much less from pocky they didn't even know existed until it was stolen." Brad stated logically. 

"My powers have been working just fine." Nagi stated. 

Unfortunately, it's one of those kind of things where they're not gone until you find out they're gone. .. Though that doesn't make any sense. Think of it like this: you know how in cartoons where a character walks off a cliff and they don't fall until they notice? It's like THAT. 

".. Dude.. that was cheap." Schuldich blinked, noticing his powers had suddenly stopped working. 

"Told you." Omi stated. 

"Give me back my pocky!!!" Nagi exclaimed. 

"Or you'll do what, glare at us?" Yohji asked. 

"No, he'll go Mini-Brad on your ass." Schuldich stated. Then paused. Yohji also paused. Then they both looked incredibly disturbed. 

"... That sounded more disturbing than I meant." Schuldich stated. Everyone else blinked in confusion, and then started twitching. 

".. Schuldich, I hate you." Nagi grumbled. 

"I propose we conduct this in a business-like fashion. You have no use for Naoe's pocky, and we do. There are plenty of logical options here." Brad stated logically again. 

"... Shi-ne. .. I mean... what would you offer?" Aya cursed his limited vocabulary. 

"Well, money mostly." Brad blinked. 

"Money?" Aya asked. 

"... Yes. Why?" 

"SIT DOWN. We've got some haggling to do!" Aya exclaimed. Brad blinked, and sat down at a table near the back where he and Aya promptly started arguing over a logical price for the magical pocky. 

"Noo!! Aya! You can't sell the pocky!! WOMEN *LIKE* POCKY!!" Yohji exclaimed. 

"You've got enough women, idiot." Schuldich grumbled. 

"They're not over 18." Yohji responded. 

"So you're just suddenly a law-abiding citizen?" Schuldich asked sceptically. 

"... Shut up." Yohji grumbled. 

"You know, if I had my powers, I could magically make a bunch of over-18 women like you." Schuldich said. Yohji blinked. 

"Seriously?!" He exclaimed. 

".... Um.. sure...." Schuldich blinked. 

Meanwhile Ken and Farfie stood there. 

"... ... Wait... I'm confused.... if we're supposed to be enemies... aren't we supposed to be fighting and stuff??" Ken asked. 

"... Getting along doesn't hurt God." Farfie stated. 

"... Erm... yeah..." Ken blinked, becoming even more confused as Brad and Aya started randomly pounding their fists on the table while they were arguing. 

".... Must.. find.. way.. to hurt.. .God!" Farfie exclaimed. 

"You could help me with the customers." Ken suggested. 

".. How does THAT hurt God?!" Farfie demanded. 

"Um... men wearing oddly-colored aprons hurts God? Plus, you're promoting the deaths of plants." Ken nodded. 

"... ... Hey.... you're right..." Farfie blinked. 

And so, a little while later, Farfie was manning the cash register, and hurting God with his red apron and his promoting the deaths of plants. And Schuldich and Yohji had broken into a conversation on how women love evil people, and how Yohji might be able to seem more evil. Nagi was angsting to Omi about how, once again, he was being completely neglected and ignored (even by the author, who had written a couple lines after this before noticing he hadn't done anything for awhile). 

And Brad and Aya were still arguing and pounding on the table. 

Then, Aya-chan walked in, and became heavily confused as she surveyed the scene. 

Because for one thing, he brother appeared to be arguing with some strange gaijin person, although be this time they were just death glaring at each other and randomly pounding on the table, and some strange other-gaijin character was manning the cash register, and Yohji was actually in a conversation with some woman (who, she suddenly realized, was NOT a woman. Which made her wonder if Yohji had noticed that yet. Things like that had happened before). And apparently, Omi had an identical twin. .. or something. 

I mean.. who WOULDN'T be confused? 

So, she decided, the logical thing to do would be to wander around and eavesdrop a bit to figure out what was up. So first, she went over to the guy at the cash register. 

"Hehehehe... this hurts God.." Farfie snickered evilly, as some girl bought the rose Aya had gotten stuck on earlier (her excuse: "IT'S GOT SOME THREADS FROM HIS SWEATER ON IT! *swoon*") 

"Excuse me, but um... who're you?" Aya-chan asked, more confused than before. 

Farfie blinked. "Hurt... God?" 

Aya-chan sweatdropped. "Um.... ok......" She blinked, and walked up to Omi and Nagi. 

"SEE?! Now the entire thing's focusing on *HER*. What kind of a story is this, if it's focusing on *HER*?! How unfair is that?!" Nagi exclaimed angrily. Omi blinked. "... That's actually pretty unfair... ... Crawford seriously narrated your flashback?!" He exclaimed. "Yes. Yes he DID." Nagi said, glaring at Crawford, who was glaring at Aya, who was glaring back. 

Aya-chan decided to leave Omi's evil twin alone (it seemed like a logical assumption at the time to her), and went to talk to her brother, who just might explain things to her. 

"Eeto... onii-chan?" She asked. 

"Not now Aya, can't you see I'm haggling?" Aya replied. 

"Ha! You blinked!" Crawford exclaimed triumphantly. 

"SHIMATTA!" Aya cursed. 

"... ... Dude... onii-chan, your friends are kinda wonky." Aya-chan stated. 

Aya paused. 

".. Friends?" He asked. 

Aya-chan nodded. "Especially that one by the cash register." 

Aya looked at the cash register, and noticed Farfarello. 

".. What the hell is he doing?!" Aya exclaimed. 

"He appears to be manning the cash register." Aya-chan said helpfully. 

"I see that. But WHY?" Aya demanded. 

"He said it hurts God." Aya-chan nodded. 

"I'm expecting he will be paid for his assistance. You can make the check payable to Brad Crawford-" Brad started. 

"I never gave him permission to work here!" Aya exclaimed. 

"And yet.. he is. So I expect him to be paid." Brad stated. 

"He seems kinda cool, though." Aya-chan continued. 

Aya froze. 

"NANI?!" 

"... I said he seems kinda cool." Aya-chan blinked. 

Aya started twitching insanely. 

Brad blinked. "... Anyhow, since you blinked, I'll be taking the pocky and leaving now." He stated. 

"I was distracted!" Aya exclaimed. 

"That's your fault." 

".. Best two out of three?" 

"No." 

"DAMNIT." Aya exclaimed. 

Aya-chan was confused again, and Brad went off, found the pocky, and all of Schwarz got their massively-spiffy powers back. HUZZAH! 

And Brad also made sure he got a certain percentage of the profits the flowershop made due to Farfarello's service. 

And Yohji perfected the evil smirk, which attracted fangirls over-18 like crazy. 

And so, Schwarz took the pocky and got into their car and drove off, as Aya-chan ranted about how she'd like to get to know Aya's friends better. 

_*Later*___

".. I'm going to hurt something." Nagi grumbled. 

"Why?" Farf asked. 

"I was IGNORED. *AGAIN*. And this entire thing was MY idea!!!" He exclaimed. 

"That has a tendency of happening." Farf nodded. 

"I'm more ignored than YOU!" Nagi exclaimed. 

"That's because you don't have a catch-phrase." Farf stated. 

"... Eh... nani?" 

"A catch-phrase. Like '... hurts God!' It makes it so that you have something to say to bring attention back to you." Farf nodded. 

"... ... So, I should just randomly say something that confuses people, and the attention will be back on me?" Nagi asked. It all seemed too simple. 

"Yep. It hurts God." 

"... .... And you really think that will work?" Nagi blinked. 

"'Course it will. Aya says 'shi-ne' all the time, and look at how big of a part he got." 

"... It wasn't that big..." Nagi frowned. 

"He did more than you, now, didn't he? Anyhow, you cuold always get one line, which takes a long time to lead up to. That works too. That's how Aya-chan got a part." Farf nodded. 

"... ... Couldn't I just maim the author until she stops ignoring me?" 

".....Maiming authors hurts God...."   
  


_*Owari*_   
  


***************** 

A/N: 

Verie: ... there. It's finished. ... Sorta... >.> I didn't originally plan on ignoring Nagi halfway through... it just happened x.x;; ~dodges bricks~ but Farf's right. Nagi needs some kind of catch-phrase that I can make him say randomly >.> . it'd help! ~dodges more bricks~ anyhow, bwee. It's finished. Now I can attend to all the other stuff people are holding hostage from me until I finish things.... ;_;''   
  


1. Remember Nagi's five-second-flashback in the series?? Yeah... I'm considering Brad's ranting during that a narration. 

2. This doesn't really need a note, but I'm going to make a note anyway. ... Basically, from what I've noticed, Nagi doesn't really do much in the series. I mean, yeah, Brad and Schu probably do less, but the show never even attempted to focus on them. Whereas the show actually attempted to focus on Nagi, but stuff kept on happening and the focus was kind of taken from him. I mean, even the whole Nagi/Tot thing, it wound up focusing more on Tot. >.> at least, from what I remember. It's been awhile since I last saw those episodes (due to people borrowing my DVDs >.;;) but yeah, Nagi doesn't seem to do much in the series. I mean, what does he get for background info? He's got a five second flashback narrated by Brad. I'd feel sorry for him if I weren't so elated that I got to listen to Brad's voice for a little over five seconds. ~gets bricked~ I like Okiayu Ryoutarou, ok?! ;_;' ~dodges fruit~ 


End file.
